Raise your fingerless neon glove if you’re a child of the eighties.

Remember that first week of summer vacation after 7^th grade? When your stay-at-home dad took on an actual hobby that left you alone with the television from 1:00 p.m. until 3? Remember curling up on the mint-green loveseat with your can of Aqua Net and Hello Kitty blanket praying to heaven that the day’s episode would include a scene or several with Roman Brady? Remember thinking to yourself… “If I ever have a son, I’m totally naming him Roman, and I don’t care what my husband says about it!”?

Well, I do. And yeah, that kid-naming thing happened. So today I decided I’d showcase some of my favorite jewelry out there right now by categorizing them under 1980’s Soap Opera names. Don’t thank me yet; there’ll be plenty of time at the end, unless of course my cousin who is actually my half-stepbrother returns from the dead to avenge our godmother’s untimely death in that terrible corn-husking accident. YOU’LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE!

AS THE WORLD TURNS

For those who don’t know, the adored and beloved Julianne Moore got her start playing two characters on this here Opera du Soap. She played Frannie Hughes – a wealthy Oakdale socialite who flunked out of Yale yet also studied at Oxford (an obvious slacker) – as well as playing Frannie’s nerdier half-sister (and cousin! I swear to gawd. I am not making this shit up) Sabrina, who Frannie eventually moves to Haiti with so that they may volunteer there after the massive earthquake toppled the country.

All of this plot spinning makes me long achingly for these Ricardo Basta platinum and diamond “Swirl Party” dangle earrings that turn on the wearer (see what I’m doing here?). Created with briolette and rose cut black diamonds as well as 550 high-quality round brilliant cut white diamonds, these stunning earrings would have looked marvelous on Frannie on that night she attended the symphony with Seth Snyder before they were engaged (which Frannie then broke off because Sabrina tricked Seth into sleeping with her, thinking it was her doppelganger half-sister/cousin. WHORE!).

ALL MY CHILDREN

Before Sarah Michelle Gellar started slaying Vampires (which is pretty much when the uncoolness of vampires began for me. Forgive us, Anne Rice), she played Kendall Hart – the daughter of the character of the most famous actress ever to have been shunned by the Daytime Emmys (until 1999)… Susan Lucci. Lucci’s uber-infamous Erica Kane confusingly (no joke… the story line is MIND MELTING) wound up with three children of her own by the end of the series. This leads me to believe that if Erica Kane had lived among us common folk… you know, drank an occasional solo cup of gin and shopped the clearance rack at T.J. Maxx and Marshalls… she might just wear this lovely Heather Moore silver and 14K pink gold heart pendant engraved with the names of her adoring brood, “Kendall,” “Bianca,” and “Josh”… because, what else would her kids be named in 1986 on daytime TV?

THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL

When I think bold and beautiful, I rightfully think of Kerri Halpern’s Madstone line of jewelry, and particularly, her Mythology collection. So when I had the idea to write this sort of quirky/throwback/pop-culture blog post, I was surprised at the tie-in I was able to find between this particular soap opera and Halpern’s goddess-like adornments. Namely, HRH Princess Theodora of Greece.

Wha?

Yeah!! Get this! In 2011, Princess Theodora debuted on The Bold and The Beautiful as Alison Montgomery, Bill Spencer’s devious assistant who was able to feed him valuable information about the Forresters! And what heinous Highness would be complete without a bauble to personify her most deviant of deeds? I say it’s the 18K yellow gold Persephone ring for you, Ms. Montgomery! IF that is indeed even your real name (face slap)! The golden carved citrine shrouded by multi-colored sapphires, fire opals, rubies and diamonds should be a welcome accessory to the hand you tend to keep so… “under.”

SANTA BARBARA

I wanted to watch this show so badly just because I was thirteen and it had my name in it, but it came on at the same time as Another World and there was just NO WAY I was going to miss out on Anne Heche playing both good and evil twin sisters (by the way when you Google “Anne Heche” the term “Anne Heche Crazy” is the first to pop up. Try it. You’re welcome.).

Before Robin Wright was Robin Wright Penn, or, as she was even better known, Buttercup from The Princess Bride, she played one of the show’s original characters… Kelly Capwell. Poor Kelly Capwell. Poor, pretty, rich Kelly Capwell. Always in relationships with serial killers or falling in love with guys who eventually died horrible deaths. She was the “Ivory” girl though, ya know? And honestly, Robin Wright herself is not very much different looking – from the classic and demure standpoint – which is why I feel that these deco-style Asscher Cut emerald studs by Santa Barbara personal jeweler, Calla Gold, would look lovely on her today, back then, or forever. They represent Santa Barbara so very well, dontcha think?

GUIDING LIGHT

It would be only fitting to end this post with the daytime drama that started it all. Guiding Light is listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as the longest running television drama in history. Stars like Jimmy Smits, Hayden Panettiere, Mira Sorvino, Billy Dee Williams, and, believe it or not… CHRISTOPHER WALKEN… (check his wiki!) all got their breaks after roles on GL.

I had two ways to go with this particular Soap Opera/Jewelry connection. I could have gone the “Light” route, however, I already used Shawish’s illuminating octopus bracelet in an earlier post and really couldn’t find another lighted piece of jewelry I loved, and so, I chose to go the “Guiding” route with this titanium and 18K rose gold gents band by Swiss and German brand, Meister, that is not only as cool as hell and fashionable in a very German way, but it also doubles as a working compass for those nights your husband claims that he can’t find his way home.

Hope this little piece of mine brightens your Friday and brings you back to a time when Luke and Laura was the only wedding you cared about caring about.

Have a rad weekend!